20 Weeks

This pregnancy is halfway over. HALF. FREAKING. WAY. I thought the last one went fast. This one has been at warp speed. I'm happy, I'm feeling great, I'm excited to find out more about my babe, but I am also 100% UNPREPARED. I know everything will work itself out (it always does) but I just can't shake this slight feeling of unease that has been following me around lately.

Sprout!

I think part of it (if not most of it) is the fact that when I was pregnant with Griffin, all I had was time. I know I was finishing up my Masters and working, but nothing (and I mean NOTHING) compares to parenting as far as consuming time and brain power! So this time around, most of my focus has been on my little boy (and justly so!), and the rest (especially as of late) has been on work... so at the end of the day, there is almost nothing left.

That doesn't mean I'm not thrilled though, because I am. With each passing day I feel more settled in with Sprout, reveling in this incredibly short and blissfully sweet period of bonding where I get to feel her twist and turn throughout the day, or I talk to her in my head at night. It will be nice when we find out the gender in two weeks so I can stop arbitrarily referring to the baby as "her" or "Sprout". Maybe then it will be easier to start planning. The nursery will come together, of course- but we can also start figuring out schedules and daycare and items we need. I think that's when Griffin began to feel a bit more real too.

Drew and I looked back at the picture of me 20 weeks pregnant with G and could NOT believe the difference! I'm much bigger this time around, that's for sure. I don't know if it's the different pregnancy, or if my ab muscles just decided to give up! I find it utterly fascinating to compare the two pregnancies- the differences in shape, size, symptoms, life situations, feelings, everything! I'm so glad I wrote it all down. And, more than anything, I feel so amazingly lucky to have the chance to experience it all.