cold and busy!

I have been really bad about posting. Worst. Blogger. Ever. And so much has been happening lately! Time to get caught up in list form:

• I won a Major Award! Actually, I won Griffin one very cool Christmas present. A blog I follow was doing LightHeaded Beds giveaway. They are beautiful solid wood bedframes with LED light-up headboards. We won the bed and 3 interchangeable pictures for the light. Griffin also got to pick out his own bedding, which he found thrilling! He is completely over the moon and even goes right to bed at nap time (always a struggle before). Best prize ever! 
• Our Thanksgiving this year was AMAZING. One of the best ever. My brother was in town, so we got to see lots of him. Dinner was incredible (my very favorite meal! You cant beat it!) And the kids were REALLY well behaved! It made my life so much easier! 
• Our furnace went out a couple of weeks ago. And it got COLD. I didn't notice it until after business hours, so we ended up pulling both kids into our bed for warmth. Not fun. Luckily someone was able to come out and take care of it the next day and *knock on wood* it's been fine ever since. Although the HVAC guy DID say that since the furnace is 60 years old, we should probably start saving for a new one. UGH. I'm still hoping this one lasts forever.
• As per tradition, we went up to Evergreen with my parents and brother last weekend to paint Christmas ornaments. We started with pizza and the OSU game, then we painted, and we finished with a trip to the old fashioned candy store. Such a great time, and Griffin was AWESOME! He loved every second. We're going back up this weekend to get our Christmas tree from our usual farm and then pick up the finished ornaments while we're there!
• We've had a major cold snap. We got about 3-4 inches of snow the other day, and temperatures are still ridiculously low. It was -5 when I left the house this morning! It is too bad because tonight is Golden's Candlelight Walk and holiday lighting. We've done it every year since we moved, but I cant fathom taking the kids out in this cold, even bundled up. Sigh!
• Evvie has become CRAZY MOBILE. So not only is she crawling (and QUICKLY), but she is starting to pull herself up on everything! The other night we put her to bed and on the baby monitor, we saw her canopy swaying around weirdly. I looked closer and realized Evvie had grabbed handfuls of it and was swinging! We've obviously removed the canopy and lowered her mattress since then... but yikes.
• Speaking of blogging, I've been asked to be a local contributor for todaysmama.com! I'm trying to figure out what my approach will be and how I'll keep up with it- but I'll let you know when I've made my first post!
• Drew's schedule is changing YET AGAIN. Starting next month he'll be back on a 4 10s schedule with a day off during the week. We'll keep Griff & Evvie full time at school, but it will be nice for them to have the occasional day off with their dad!
• Work has been busy but awesome!! I am starting work on writing a textbook that will be printed next year for our 2015 classes. I also just hired my Lead Peer Mentor staff and they are amazing students that I cant wait to work with. I sat down with my boss yesterday and had a two hour meeting about redesigning the course in the COOLEST way- I am beside myself!! I am having focus groups all next month to present the idea. And finally, I got major kudos last night from our Dean of Students about the work I've done on the class, so I have been riding high!

I think that catches us up! I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting...

Thursday

Being back on a regular schedule means going back to one late night a week. I forgot how much I LOVE that part. Working late every day was rough, ESPECIALLY when it meant spending the entire morning parenting first. But now on Thursdays, I take the kids in to school at 7:45 and I have some "me time" until I get to work at 10. It is relaxing and glorious. On these nights, I will have dinner ready in the crock pot (tonight it is chicken pot pie!), Drew will pick up the kids after school, and I will have a couple of quiet hours in the office to finish some lingering things. I keep seeing lots of positives to go along with being broke, so that's good!

I cant believe it is already mid-November and Thanksgiving is just two weeks from today! Summer became the holidays practically overnight. I'm really trying my hardest not to start getting excited about the holiday season too early, but it's REALLY HARD! I just found out yesterday that my brother will be here for a week over Thanksgiving and a week & 1/2 over Christmas which is awesome. And I'll be off for two full weeks in December which is going to be AMAZING. Plus, it's Evvie's first Christmas! Best time of the year!!

on the mend!

Ok, so yeah... this year writing is DEFINITELY not happening every day! But I'm still writing a lot more than normal, so I'm happy!

I think the whole family is starting to feel better. Everyone was slightly less noisy today, anyway! I decided that I need to get better about keeping us all on vitamin D & probiotics. I'm not sure that it will really prevent anything, but our doctors have suggested it, so its worth a shot!

Speaking of shots, Evvie went in for her second flu booster on Thursday and I got my flu shot on Friday. So now 3 out of 4 of us should have some sort of immunity! Drew, on the other hand, doesn't care enough to make an appointment. Totally fine- his choice!

We were supposed to have my parents over for dinner on Saturday, but we woke up still feeling yucky. I let them know that we were still happy to see them but that we might be contagious, and found out that they had been sick too so we just decided to postpone. I think we really needed it, because we spent most of the day lounging around in front of the tv, and it felt GOOD!!! Normally, I start to get stir crazy when I'm sitting down for any longer than a half hour, but not this time. I even napped! Crazy.

Today Drew's cousin, Stephanie, was in town so we went to Angela and Jacob's new house to have brunch with all of them. We had an awesome time (especially the kids!) but the best part was we found out that Angela & Jake are engaged! They're such a great couple- we're so happy for them, and we cant wait to raise our families close to each other!

In other news, Evvie is crawling! This is a brand new trick she just started late last week. I guess I should stipulate that she is crawling *backwards* which is actually pretty adorable. She goes in the exact opposite direction of where she wants to & gets REALLY upset when she backs herself (quite literally) into a corner. So yeah- no one puts baby in a corner... except baby. And even then, she's gonna be pretty pissed.

So even though it wasn't exactly action packed, we had an awesome weekend. I'm so thankful for my little family. They make every moment feel like it was lived, even when it's been so quiet.

Cold

I completely forgot to post last night. Never even crossed my mind! Goes to show how exhausted I am! It may also have something to do with the fact that I have a cold and I am a HUGE baby when it comes to colds! There is just nothing more miserable than being achey while not being able to breathe through my nose. I'd rather have a 12 hour stomach flu than deal with a lingering cold. Sigh. Anyway, the kids have it too & none of us have been sleeping well because of it!

Evvie had her follow up flu booster today, and she handled it so well! She cried very briefly but was so brave!! Hoping it does its magic!

Potty!

Griffin is making headway on using the potty! This morning we were talking about all the great reasons that using the potty is better than being in a diaper, and then he told us he had to go! Drew showered him with candy (which subsequently gave him a stomach ache) but I think he's getting the picture! I DID have to change quite a nasty one this afternoon though, so he is certainly taking his time.

I am already starting the hiring process for all 45 of my faculty members and all 90 of my student employees for next year. I havent even caught a breath yet from the advising onslaught. Christmas break may be nearly two months away, but it cant come fast enough!

school

Today was the kids' first full day of daycare since my maternity leave. I was anticipating hysteria from one or both of them, but they both handled it exceedingly well. In fact, it was Griffin's best drop off and pick up in a LONG time. I, on the other hand, spent much of the day feeling guilty and missing them to pieces.

The schedule itself was a dream though. Drew goes in to work later now so he was there this morning to help get the kids ready, watch them while I took a shower (a TRUE luxury) and hang out with us for awhile. Then I got to take the kids in to school at my leisure without worrying about dropping them off to the minute, I got to spend my lunch hour on MYSELF without running around and barely getting a chance to eat, and then we got to have a nice family dinner- something usually reserved for the weekends. Yes, we're paying for two kids in full time daycare, but damn I feel GOOD.

Griffin was invited to his first birthday party today! One of the little boys he has known since he was 6 months old is turning 3 this week! Where did the time go? The party is at the train museum, so Griffin is PUMPED! It will be cute to see all the kids together outside of school!

Tonight was also Griffin's parent-teacher conference and it went GREAT! Griffin was assessed at being at or above his age group in every category. He is especially strong in creative functions like story telling, and math/ spatial things like problem solving & recognizing patterns. He can also count higher than most of his friends! They did say that he is very shy in group settings which surprised me, since I thought he generally wants to be the center of attention! The only "brainstorming" item (area for improvement) was pick up/ drop off. Those had been pretty rough for awhile, mostly because I was waking Griffin up & trying to transition him home in the middle of his nap. My guess is that any issues will rectify themselves, but we're open to suggestions if the need arises!

Unfortunately, we found out that one of our favorite teachers is leaving at the end of this week. She is so wonderful with both of my kids, so she will be missed! I hope her replacement is also awesome.

All of this reinforced to me that we are doing the right thing by keeping the kids in this school. They are loved and cared for, they are nurtured and encouraged, they have good friends, they are given the tools to learn & develop, and I trust the staff implicitly. The director has also demonstrated time and time again that we are more than tuition dollars, and that our family matters to them.

recap

As I mentioned yesterday, October was rough. I have been absolutely slammed at work and have been operating in crisis mode for a month. Our schedules also caught up with us and we spent a lot of time EXHAUSTED. Then we dealt with some financial anxiety as full time daycare loomed. All that in addition to the entire family getting the stomach flu, and worrying about the health issues of a few close friends and family members, made it a doozy of a month, hence the dearth of posting.

BUT.

I'm already over it. This weekend was perfect and relaxing- exactly what I needed to reset. We are still concerned about money, but the benefit is that we will have more time together as a family. Work hasn't slowed down yet, but a few days away have reminded me of how much I love what I do. And our loved ones are safe and recovering. It has given me the perspective to see how many wonderful things we've done recently.

We've been hiking several times:

We went to the pumpkin patch and celebrated Halloween:

We enjoyed some absolutely perfect fall weather:

We had dinners with family and friends, got some things done around the house, and enjoyed each other's company.  So it wasn't an awful month... just busy. And things are only getting better.

This is not a real post.

Every November I commit to writing something personal every day. I get so caught up with all the commitments I have, that it is usually the last thing I make time for. It is, however, something I enjoy so I like to show myself that where there is a will, there is a way.

Today is November 2nd, which means I missed a post. And actually, that is ok. Last month was so stressful and hectic that I needed Friday evening purely to decompress- and I did that. I enjoyed a glass of wine with Drew after the kids went to bed, and let all other commitments- including writing- go.

Even today I am taking a bit longer than normal to warm up. But I'm getting there. And tomorrow I should have a real post, complete with pictures, all about life these days and these two awesome kids I get to hang out with.

Mind Blown

I spent the majority of this weekend in bed with the worst migraine of my life. I've had them in the past, and they're always bad, but this... this was a monster that not even Percocet would take the edge off of. It lasted a full 24 hours, but even once it was "gone" I still had (am still having!) residual pain, aura & exhaustion. Drew was AMAZING though and totally stepped up to the plate as Single Parent. I'll be seeing my doctor shortly for a new migraine medication prescription so I dont have to go through anything quite that intense again, but it also has me thinking about triggers and how I can prevent this in the future. I know a HUGE one is stress- and I wouldn't be surprised, since we've had a lot of that lately. We found out last week that Drew's schedule has been changed and that we will need to start paying for full time daycare soon. All other options have been exhausted. Though I know it wont last forever, we're about to start a very difficult time in our lives. Now we just need to figure out how we manage it and preserve our happiness & health.

In other news, Evvie had her 6 month check up last week! She is 27" long (87th percentile) and 15.8 lbs (39th percentile). Tall & skinny! I asked if I should be worried about her weight and they said that since she's gaining weight at the same rate she always has & she's eating well, she's perfect! Unfortunately, she had to get her full round of shots and she didn't tolerate them well again with a fever that lasted all night. But at least she can take Motrin now! I also got Griffin and Evvie both flu vaccines while we were there. I know nothing is guaranteed, but Griffin's last hospital stay was a direct result of the flu. His doctor at the time said there was no way of knowing for sure, but the vaccine could have potentially prevented it- I've felt guilty ever since. I am not taking ANY chances this year!!

This weekend was the last weekend of the Farmers Market. We managed to make a trip before my migraine got really intense. It was a bit sad- signaling the true end of the summer we had been hanging on to, and a weekend tradition that Griffin LOVES. We'll have to find another way to spend our Saturday mornings!

To Miss Evelyn Matilda on the Occasion of her Half Birthday

the day we met

Dear Evvie-

I can hardly believe that you've been with us for 6 months. In so many ways it seems like it was just yesterday that your bright light entered our lives. But you were such a perfect, instant fit that in many ways it seems like you've just always somehow been here.

You are nothing short of amazing. You have the power to improve my mood with a smile, and you do so often. Your smiles are special though. Epic. Golden. I've never experienced a baby so small with a heart so big. You smile because you're happy and you want to share. It is a wonder to behold.

wearing one Very Special hat

You are amazingly even tempered, gentle and quiet. You always have been. Your very presence is calming and soothing. Your brother is a bit more hot headed, but even he will sometimes simmer down once he sees you- so peaceful, so serene.

Speaking of your brother, he adores you. From the second he saw you, he was absolutely smitten. The second you wake up, he scrambles downstairs with me to make sure he's the first person to kiss you good morning. He hugs you, holds your hand and cuddles you every chance he gets. He shows you off to all of his friends at school, but makes sure NO ONE is allowed to touch you except for your family and teachers. He shares his toys (which you happily stick in your mouth) and he treasures the nights we read stories to both of you at the same time.  You have made his world better in ways that your dad and I never could on our own.

my two favorites

But he makes your life happier too. While your dad and I can occasionally get a giggle out of you, Griffin can make you laugh and laugh. When you hear his voice you turn towards him with a giant grin on your face, waiting to see what he's doing. And no matter how long and uncomfortable his hugs may be, you never cry. You're always perfectly happy to participate.

Just like your brother, you LOVE bath time. Kicking around in the tub is one of your favorite things on earth. It is also when your girly side comes out since you have adored having your hair washed since the day you were born. I wonder sometimes if you two will be swimmers, or just very, very clean.

happy dance

You love sitting up on your own, snuggling with your family, having your diaper changed, and oatmeal. You're not a fan of being alone, having your nails trimmed, and most bottles. You give the best baby hugs I have ever gotten. You are teacher's pet at school and you get shown off to anyone who enters the room. You have the most incredible big blue eyes that even random people on the street will comment on. You are gorgeous and inspiring and loved.

you actually look like a few baby pictures of me in this one! the first time I've noticed a resemblance! (maybe it's the sullen, far away look. Ha!)

I call you Sweet Pea. Daddy calls you Princess. Griffin calls you Little Feets. But you are the lady of our lives, the perfect addition, a truly beautiful soul. We are all so lucky that we get to have you. I hope we make you just as proud.

6 months old.

I love you and Griffin more than anything in this entire world. You are the two best things that ever happened to me. As tired and as stressed as we've been since the two of you came into our lives, we've never been happier or more full. Our hearts nearly burst with love. THAT is what life is about.

love, mama

it's been awhile

I've neglected the blog for awhile while I let life happen. Between work and home, I had several incredibly busy weeks, but things are starting to slow down for me again. It has been raining here for days. There has been lots of dangerous flooding, mudslides & rock slides in the area, but we have been very lucky. For us, the clouds have been hanging so low that you cant even see the mountain tops anymore, and there is so much rain that South Table has formed a waterfall. While I love the gray, rainy weather (it happens so rarely here that it's a novelty), it makes me lethargic so life is even slower. Perfect time to write, I suppose.

In the meantime, life has indeed happened! Betsy came out for a visit a week ago and while we were all excited to see her, the kids had a ball. Griffin has been talking about going to Ohio ever since.

snuggle time with Grammy

We also went to "the beach" this weekend! It was blazing hot and sunny for days (funny now considering the current situation!) and we needed to get out of the house. Unfortuantely the water level at the lake was REALLY low, so it wasnt as pretty as usual, but both kids were in love with the water anyway!

We did some mall walking that weekend too. Anything to get out of the heat! Griffin got to go on lots of rides, including the carousel and train!

Griffin has continued to be hilarious. Whenever he is playing with something he's not supposed to be and I ask him to put it down, he says he's "just smelling it". So, my jewelry, Drew's phone, ball point pens, Evvie's teethers... he's smelling them all. He is still in love with the farmers market, as evidenced by his quiet play time with his action figures wherein he has them go to the farmers market to buy peaches & ride the horsey. He has also (unfortunately) become quite the parrot. He tends to repeat the last few words of any sentence we say, but the other day he came up to me and said "my Spider Man broke. That's fucking dumb." Soooo, I have Drew to thank for that one. He always said he had "plenty of time" to clean up his language- looks like the time is now!

Griffin has also been incredibly sweet and cute. The other day I was getting ready for work and he said "you look like a princess, mommy." Swoon!! And then a few nights ago when we had a big thunderstorm, Drew went in to make sure Griffin was ok. While he was being very brave about the whole matter, he was clearly glad to have Drew with him. The next morning we were talking about how loud it was and Griffin said "it was scary in my room. But daddy saved me!"

Evvie also has news of her own! She is growing up SO FAST and has been rolling over on her own, from back to tummy and vice versa. Pretty soon she'll be rolling around the room! She's also started eating solid food. We started on cereal, but she's already on veggies too! Her teacher said she ate an entire container of green beans today and LOVED it. That's my girl!

Completely unrelated, here are some old family photos my aunt just sent me. I think they are incredible and they make me so happy.

L-R Aunt Betty, Uncle Virgil, Grandpa & Grandma circa 1945

L-R mom's cousin Eric, Grandma, Aunt Betty & Great Grandma circa 1980

mom & Grandpa circa 1975

Because there is nothing else I should be doing.

Just kidding, there are about a billion other things I should be doing. Work is insane right now and I feel like I am behind in everything, which is exactly why I'm procrastinating. It's one of my talents.

In the middle of this craziness, Evvie had her 4 month check up. She is doing amazing and I cant believe how fast she's growing! She is in the 85th percentile for height (Amazon baby!), 50th for weight, and 80th for head circumference (yes, still a Clark). She is growing so well, yet demanding food so often that her Nurse Practitioner suggested we start her on rice cereal. We'll be doing that this weekend. Where did my baby go?? And most exciting- she has just recently started rolling over!! I just cant believe how fast all of this is happening.

I've been working a lot of extra hours this week because of trainings, orientation, and the launch of my class. That means Drew has been doing lots of single parenting! We're both incredibly exhausted, but he's doing an amazing job. I'm so lucky to have married a great dad.

Somehow I'm going to (try to) run another 5k on Saturday! Wish me luck!

Racing

My 5k was on Sunday and It. Was. Amazing. I went into it so nervous and insecure. And once I got there, all I could think about was how out of shape I am and how much I hate crowds. For a few minutes I told myself I had made a major mistake. And then the race started.

I'm not a seasoned runner. I haven't had enough time to train for speed. I wasn't in it for the competition. Instead, I was in it to show myself I COULD. To make my body do beautiful things. To keep a promise to myself. So after the whistle blew, those in it for the competition were gone and I was left in their dust. But those that were left motivated me in ways I could never have imagined. For 3.1 miles I was part of this moving, roiling mass. We carried each other. I ran with my friend, Letty, and she helped to pace me as well. We were in it together, so there was no giving up as long as she was moving forward. So mile after mile I was happy. I was exhilarated. In a bit of pain, yes, but I was LOVING EVERY SECOND. Halfway through I decided that I wanted to race and race and race and race. Never stop running.

about 2.5 miles in

My only goal was to run the entire thing without walking and 40 or so minutes later, I met that goal in front of my tiny family- the three people I love the most in this whole world. So it wasn't fast, it wasn't pretty, I didn't win any awards, but I was SO PROUD. And I can't wait to do it again.

just past the finish line!

Then yesterday, while still riding my endorphin high, I read a newsletter from the mommy group I belong to and my jaw hit the floor. A few of them are starting a pick-up adult field hockey team & were looking for players! Field hockey was BY FAR my favorite sport to play growing up and I've missed it ever since. I still have my trusty stick in our office and I look at it longingly every now and again- so for this to come up is SO EXCITING!!! I immediately signed up. All of the women are close to my age, working mothers, and just as rusty as I am. I start in two weeks! The grin has not left my face since. Yay for fun exercise!

Today was one year anniversary of my office being established! We had a little celebration and reflected on our accomplishments. I feel so lucky to work for an office I am proud of, with people I genuinely like and care about, in a position I adore. An entire year later and I actually WANT to go to work each day! I've never had that before. I've been given a gift.

And, completely unrelated, here is a dramatic reading of Green Eggs & Ham by Sir Griffin, himself.

Rockin' Braid

Griffin continues to be a great source of entertainment. Today he was playing with our old cordless phone that we gave him.

Griffin: Hellooooo! Hellooooo!
Me: Helloooo!
Griffin: (to the phone) Hold on. (to me) NO. *I* am talking to Grammy. No YOU talk to Grammy. MY Grammy. (to the phone) Hellllooooooooo!

It reminded me SO MUCH of Conversations with my Two Year Old:

I braided my hair today and as we were walking to the car Griffin says "what's that? Ponytail?" I said "no- it's a braid" to which Griffin replied "rockin' braid!"

And Griffin CONSTANTLY asks us what we're doing lately. He probably asks me 20 times a day, expecting a full blown play-by-play. If we dont give him enough detail, he asks over and OVER again. But whenever we ask him what HE is doing, he simply says "not doing". Well played.

good days

Things have been MUCH easier lately. We're more adjusted to our schedules which makes a big difference. Drew developed shingles a few weeks ago and I swear it was from the stress of those daily differences! But it has mostly cleared up now, and our hope is that he's back to 100% very soon.

We've entered our "monsoon season" along the Front Range so the weather has cooled off quite a bit and we're getting awesome rains each evening. My garden is going gangbusters and it's perfect sleeping weather!

Work has also gotten incredibly exciting! CASA is entering its second year and we've been given the time, money, and support to become the office of our dreams! We are hiring another Coordinator, so my advising load will be much lighter, allowing me to concentrate on my other duties. I am re-developing my course and submitting it to undergraduate council for approval. My goal is to increase the number of credit hours it is worth and with that creating more meaningful curriculum. I've also been developing training curriculum for all of my faculty. It's MUCH easier to leave your kids and go to work when you're excited about what you're doing every day!

And to top everything off, our back yard is really starting to look AMAZING. Our new shed is adorable AND functional, our lawn is starting to come in strong and green, we've slowly been making big dents in getting rid of the piles of mulch & rocks, and we got an incredible deal on a beautiful dining tent, so we've been eating dinner outside almost every night. It's such an amazing feeling to see Griffin running around like crazy back there- our vision and effort is paying off!

This weekend was an awesome one. Saturday was the start of Buffalo Bill Days, so we walked the kids down for pancakes at the firehouse and followed it up with the parade. We all had a BLAST, but especially Griffin! We're so thankful to have community traditions for the kids as they grow up! After naps & some relaxing at home, we went back down to eat fair food, let Griff run around the kiddie area & listen to the bands. I tried fried Twinkies for the first time! I always sneered at the deep-fried dessert thing a fairs, and it IS awful when you think about it, but oh. my. god. They did NOT disappoint (and I've actually never liked regular Twinkies!) I figure once a year wont kill us! :)

he partied too hard.

Sunday was gray and rainy all day (instead of only in the evening). It is so rare that we get days like that, we actually LOVED it. It was perfect for snuggling and relaxing at home, and getting some chores done. I was able to weed the garden without feeling like I was sizzling! I took advantage of the cool house by baking the BEST chocolate cake I have EVER had. Not the best I've ever *made*, but literally the best cake I've ever tasted!! Even Drew who is not the hugest chocolate cake fan said "damn! That's a good ass cake!" Our next door neighbors gave us a HUGE bag of vegetables to thank us for watering their garden while they were on vacation. The bag contained an enormous zucchini that I had no idea what to do with since Drew & Griffin wont touch the stuff. And the best part? This incredible cake had FOUR CUPS of zucchini in it that went completely undetected! All it did (beyond adding to the nutritional value) was make the cake amazingly moist and dense. Speaking of food, Griffin has proven that I can never just assume I know his tastes & that he will always keep me on my toes. Last night at dinner, he ate two helpings of whole wheat pasta topped with a super-veggie tomato sauce (full of peppers, squash, carrots & flax), THREE helpings of steamed carrots & broccoli (I actually had to make more!), and a big hunk of bread and cheese! This is the kid that some days refuses to eat anything beyond cheerios and fruit snacks. Just goes to show I'm doing the right thing by offering him what we eat every night!

Proof!

In other exciting news, Evvie slept in her own room for the first time last night! She woke up a bit more than normal, but she always went right back to sleep after nursing, so I think she'll be fine! Exciting step- but it made me sad. I was sad when Griffin transitioned out too. I miss my baby! This was super sweet though- Evvie was a bit crabby before bedtime last night, so Drew decided to calm her with music. I love their relationship.

My first 5k is less than a week away now! I'm nervous and excited! My only goal is to finish without walking. We shall see!

A Prayer for my Little Boy

... and my husband, and all men, really. But especially my little boy.

To My Boy who is Two and a Half

Dear Griffin (aka Handsome Dan, Buddy Brown, & Crazy Pants),

You are two and a half. Two and a freaking half. Where did the time go?

You are growing up so fast. It seems just like yesterday you were learning to walk, and now you run circles around all of us, climb anything you can find, and jump like your life depends on it. You LOVE physical play and a day does not go by without a round of hide and seek or a light saber battle. 

You have also become quite chatty- how could you not given who your parents are? Instead of one or two words we now get complete stories. I love driving you home from school because you always tell me about your day and you list all of your friends. You're also HILARIOUS! Just the other day you looked at your dad and said "run away, DREW." And you adore talking to your sister, you've even made up your own nickname for her- Little Feets! I'm not sure if something has ever struck me as so sweet and perfect ever in my life. Of course most of your banter is reserved for superhero discussions. I blame your father.

Speaking of Evvie, you are the BEST big brother any of us could ever ask for. You have surpassed even my greatest hopes. You watch out for her from the second you wake up in the morning until the time you go to sleep. When you're together, you hug her or pat her head. When you meet someone new, the first thing you do is introduce them to "your baby". And at school, your teachers hear all about how your sister is just a few doors away. But the best part is how when we're alone you tell me how you love her. You have such a giant heart. You make me so proud.

You are becoming more and more your own independent person. You need to do EVERYTHING yourself, whether it is closing the door, pushing a button, putting the lid on your cup, or putting your clothes away. Everything is YOUR job and there is hell to pay if we get to it first. I am all about speed, efficiency, and getting things out of the way, so it has been a struggle to remember that in these instances, slowing down and taking the effort to let you work on things on your own is good for both of us. Your independence has also led to a "no" phase which has been a challenge for all of us. You want to do what you want, when you want without any guidance. We hear "no" from you A LOT. Your dad and I are still new at this. We don't know how to deal with every situation, or make sure we are instilling all of the right values in you. We want you to be happy as often as possible, but we also need you to know that you can't always have your way. But I think we are all slowly learning. You know (because you have been told) that when we say "no", it is always for a good reason, and usually to keep you safe. And at the same time, your dad and I are learning to give you more choices and to embrace the root of the "no". 

But your sweetness and gentleness far outweighs the common difficulties in raising a toddler. The other day I banged my knee on the dresser and you ran over to kiss it! You still love to snuggle with us for story or movie time. You tell us you love us constantly, and when your dad leaves your work, you say "bye bye! Be careful!" You have such a strong desire to help, to show affection, and to make us happy. You actually ask sometimes to be sure. You'll say "are you happy, mommy?" And the answer is always "YES, sweet boy. You have made us happier than words can say."

Nothing I could ever write could sum up the incredible you. You are bright like the sun warming my days, shining light where there is darkness. I live in awe of who you are, and that somehow you came from us. I thank the universe that I get to be your mama.

Every day for two and a half years I have been telling you that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and it is still true today. 

love, mama

Duh.

Today when I got home from work, Griffin was on the porch making chalk art. He excitedly came down to meet me, and we had this conversation:

Griffin: mommy! Mommy! I was drawing!
Me: you drew? That sounds so fun!
Griffin: *pause* no, I'm Griffin. *points to Drew* THAT'S Drew.
Me: *laughing my butt off* yes, you're exactly right.

A minute later...

Griffin: and YOU'RE Jessica.

She's got some stuff to say

Funny Boy

Yesterday morning Griffin excitedly came running into my bedroom with one of my bras around his neck and said "look, mommy! I'm wearing your cape!"

apparently he thinks I'm a Super Hero

Later that morning we were talking about the fact that his shorts had cute little orange crabs on them. He then says "I am going to tell EVERYONE that I have crabs!" I said "ummm... maybe we should tell them you have crabs on your shorts" and he says "ok! I will tell EVERYONE that I have crabs in my pants!"

I feel like these stories will haunt him when he's 17.

Then today when we were leaving the house he said "mommy, you're wearing those bracelets to work?"

he thoroughly inspects my accessories every day

Me: yep! Is that ok?
Griffin: YES! It's AWESOME!

And last night as I was FaceTiming with Drew & he had Evvie cooing at me, Griffin totally photobombed us.

you can see that Evvie is thrilled

It's always gotta be all eyes on Griffin. He's just like his mom.

ABCs

This weekend we decided to change things up a bit and head to Boulder for the Farmer's Market. Griffin has recently fallen in love with Farmers Markets, so we thought he'd enjoy a huge one. We had a great time, and as we were leaving, I thought we could finish big with a stop at the Chautauqua playground. I wanted to check with Drew first though before promising anything, so I said "think we should take Griff to the p-l-a-y-g-r-o-u-n-d?" And Griffin started yelling "NO! NO! Don't take me to the ABCs!"

 We have been busy and exhausted lately, hence my lack in posting. Our new schedules are rough, and mixed with starting work again, last week was a bit intense, to say the least. I'm hoping we just need to get used to it! My first drop off was really emotional, but luckily I've been fine since then. As much as I love spending time with my kids, I think I'm meant for a little independence! Evvie has been thriving in school and they ADORE her there. Not a day goes by that I don't hear how perfect or beautiful or mellow she is.

Yesterday I took Griff out into the garden to show him some of my veggie plants. I told him "this will grow pumpkins! This will grow tomatoes! This will grow peppers!" and so on. So he pointed to a bright yellow flower and said "and this will grow eggs!"

Father's Day

I had a great day at home with the kids yesterday. We played games, read books, made chalk drawings outside, planted some flowers, and did chores. I even had time to catch up on True Blood while they took extra long naps! It seems like we finally got the swing of things right before I have to go back to work. Depressing. But at least it means I'll be going back on a good note, and it also means that all of our time together should get better and better from here on out. Although it's apparently too late for my brain since this is what happened when Griffin asked me for crackers this afternoon:

apparently I had milk on the brain.

We had another good weekend too. Drew went to see Man of Steel on Friday night as part of his Father's Day gift. On Saturday we did some more celebrating and gave Drew his other gift: The Fatherly Fun and Relaxation Kit, which consisted of Superman pajama pants, Mexican coke, squirt guns, his favorite snacks, a 5280 magazine, and some other stuff. This resulted in the most adorable water fight I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I only captured the last few minutes of it:

Saturday night we had Angela and Jacob over for dinner again. They insisted on bringing dinner, which was amazingly sweet of them- and we had a great time laughing and chatting. Griffin ADORES them, and was in heaven with all of the extra attention.

We did have a total moment of panic on Saturday. Griffin, Evvie and Drew were all laying in bed watching tv, and Griffin was laying above Evvie with his feet near her. Apparently he was flailing around a bit, so Drew asked him to calm down so that he didn't accidentally kick her. Griffin then decided to have a moment of defiance and kicked out again, and this time he connected with Evvie's head. I came running in the room to both kids screaming- Evvie out of pain and fear, and Griffin out of guilt and regret. Evvie is NOT a crier. Prior to this, the most I've ever heard her cry was after her 2 month shots, and that time she calmed down after a few minutes with lots of snuggles. This time, she cried and cried and CRIED no matter what I did. Hysterical cries punctuated with those stilted breaths you take in between sobs. It was awful and SO SCARY. Since she's still so little and he got her directly in the head, we were terrified that some permanent damage could have been done. I was literally minutes away from whisking her to Urgent Care when Drew reminded me that Angela was on her way over. She is a Nurse Practitioner with tons of pediatric experience. Evvie finally calmed down just as they arrived, and Angela gave her a once over and deemed her totally fine. HUGE relief! Although we've decided that Griffin probably knocked law school right out of Evvie's little brain.

Luckily, it WAS an accident and in all reality, Griffin is a total sweetheart. We all know he dotes on his sister constantly with random hugs, kisses, and loving words, but sometimes Drew and I get to be on the receiving end of his big heart too. Tonight I was out watering my plants, and then I came in and sat down next to him. He patted my leg and with a HUGE grin said "you're back, mommy- you're BACK!" and rested his head on my shoulder. Swoon.

And finally, here is grandma with her two babies from Fathers Day at my parents' house!

lately

I feel like we've had a lot going on lately, but I haven't had any real time to post! So this will kind of be a random smattering of where we've been lately.

In baby news, Evvie has been doing awesome. She spends most of her day (when not napping) smiling, cooing, and doing this funny dance thing where she flails her arms and legs around. She has also already started occasionally sleeping through the night! The first time she did it, I thought something must be wrong, but she's done it several times since then, and her doc says she's perfect & we're just lucky! Speaking of her doc, she had her 2 month check up last week and she is getting HUGE! She is already 11 pounds, 8 oz and 23.5 inches long. She is in the 55th percentile for weight and the 85th percentile for height! She is also in the 85th percentile for head circumference- just like her brother. She is definitely part Clark. I gave her her first ever bottle of formula this weekend. Since she is starting school soon and I doubt I'll be able to pump enough to keep her entirely breast milk fed, I wanted to get her used to the idea. I was anticipating a struggle since she has never had it before, and she very rarely even uses bottles, but she sucked the entire thing down like a champ without batting an eye! Apparently she just likes to eat & doesn't really care where it comes from!

Griff has been doing some pretty funny things lately. For some reason, whenever he sees me nursing now, he says "Evvie is eating a burrito". SO WEIRD. No idea where he got that from! He is also currently fascinated by bugs. Whenever he sees ants, spiders, beetles, etc he gets up super close and tries to talk to them. I've been trying to teach him about bugs that bite & sting to keep him safe without discouraging him! That's proved to be pretty difficult. He still LOVES the outdoors and has never been so happy as when we've been redoing the backyard since we're out there all the time! He screams and cries when we have to come in, which means if we're just trying to run outside for something quick, we have to sneak out without him seeing us! He's also incredibly independent and wants to do EVERYTHING himself, which means that everything takes about a million times longer than it should... but at the same time, I'm really proud of how much he is doing on his own! He even helps me unload and load the dishwasher and put away laundry! Drew and I laugh about how "Dittin do it!!" is the most common phrase now heard in our house.

We're still slowly improving things around the house. Our newly seeded back yard has finally begun to sprout and we're amazingly happy about seeing patches of green instead of mulch when we look back there! It IS patchy though, so I think this is going to be an ongoing process and lots of work... but the end result will be worth it! I planted flowers, herbs & veggies in the front yard and so far everything seems to be doing well! We also happened upon an AMAZING find at a garage sale this weekend! We just happened to be driving by and we saw some really pretty stained glass hanging in the yard. I loved it so much that I stopped just to see how much they were asking, and it was a STEAL!! We got two mosaic panes that look like they were made for our front windows, and it changes the entire feel of the living & dining areas. We're thrilled!

it ties in all of our colors so perfectly. Swoon!

And finally, we are having a shed built in our back yard! Since we don't have a garage, we need one to store our lawnmower, bikes & garden tools. We have scoured Home Depot ads and Craigs List posts for something well made, but inexpensive and found nothing. But then I happened upon this sweet old guy who just loves wood working & does this in his spare time now that he's retired. He's not charging us much more than lumber & parts. He says he builds them like homes & 50 years from now it should still be in great shape! We plan on painting our entire house next summer, and we're doing a "test run" by painting the shed the colors we have picked out. We cant wait!

this is pretty much what we're having built, but ours will just be plain wood when we get it & we'll do painting ourselves

And we've managed to have time for lots of fun too! I went out to dinner & karaoke the other week with a bunch of the people I used to work with at DU. My good friend, Georgette has decided to go Rabbinical School, and this was her going away party! She has been one of the more influential women in my adult life and I hate to see her go, but I am SO happy that she has found her calling and is taking the steps to get herself there! We had a blast and I felt like I was 25 again. Good times.

with Jacqui & Georgette- two of my favorite people ever

Then this weekend, was full of action packed family adventures! Friday night was the first First Friday of the season in downtown Golden! We ate and drank, listened to bands, watched arial acrobats, and went on a horse and carriage ride! Griffin LOVED it!

on the carriage

Griff took this burger to town!

baby cowgirl 

relaxing with ice cream & shade

Saturday we went to the farmers market and had breakfast, bought a couple plants, and went on ANOTHER horse and carriage ride (Griff cant get enough of those horses). Then we went out to our meat market on the buffalo farm where Griff got to hang out with the buffalo and ponies for a bit. And THEN we took the light rail downtown to see a Rockies game!

light rail with my babies

the boys 

sweet girl 

with his Cracker Jack at the game!

Griffin LOVED the train and was SUPER well behaved the entire way to the stadium. Unfortunately, it was HOT and he had skipped his nap, so his attention waned PRETTY quickly once we were there. We still managed to stay until the 4th or 5th inning, and he slept like a rock that night. Sunday was more laid back. The boys took a trip to the pool while Evvie and I relaxed at home. Overall, it was a GREAT weekend!!

Today is one of the four last days I have alone with Evvie before I go back to work. I'm going through the same feelings I went through with Griff where I look at her and just want to cry because I cant stand the thought of having her in daycare every day. But at least this time I know I will get over it, and I know that in the long run it will actually be good for her. I just wish it made me feel a little better in the meantime.