Just a quick blurb.

Griffin had an awesome day today. He stayed in a great mood instead of launching into hysterics at key points (ie when I'm trying to make his bottles, when I'm trying to take a shower, when I'm trying to get his clothes on, when I'm trying to strap him into his car seat etc etc etc). It was a wonderful break from a rough routine and it made it REALLY hard to leave that sweet, happy face and go to work!

Griffin had school pictures taken a few weeks ago and they came in today. They're hilarious! Such a serious look about him! I meant to scan them in tonight & didn't get a chance... I'll do that soon.

G has also started eating some table food! So far he's had tiny pieces of bread (which he was intrigued by), avocado (which he hated, though I think it's because he didn't quite have the chewing thing down) and banana (which he LOVED). I CAN'T WAIT until he's able to eat what we do & feed himself!

And bless the technology that allows me to blog next to my sweetly snoring husband. My GOD, how do you not wake yourself up making that racket? I sure can't sleep! :)

Convenience!

I just discovered that there is a blogger app for itouch so I hope it means more frequent posts. I'm never in front of our computer anymore so I can use all the help I can get!

I lot has happened in the past week. Bad: I threw my back out, Griff got the stomach flu. Good: Griff is crawling! He is cutting another tooth! He is using a sippy cup! Drew has been doing an awesome job painting & we're feeling so at home! We had family photos taken! So it looks like the good far outweighs the bad...

Here is G on a recent good hair day...

not quite the ladies man...

Griffin totally cracked me up at daycare today. There is a little girl in his class that I adore and have decided that he is going to marry. Today Griffin was sitting on the floor playing with a toy & her dad set her down next to him
and then left. Apparently she is going through some separation anxiety and she had a complete meltdown, dramatically, right into Griffin's arms. She had her head in his lap, her arms thrust around him & was howling. Griffin just alternated between looking nervous and seeming put out that he couldnt reach his toy anymore. I said "hey, bud! Why dont you pat your friend & tell her it's going to be ok?" and he just gave me the most awkward baby
look ever. The best part was his t-shirt today says "I dont understand girls yet and neither does daddy". Loved it!

Ten Years

I know everyone is currently being inundated with the media's version of the 9-11 anniversary. Some of it is poignant, some of it cheap and trite. I am personally having a difficult time believing that it's been a decade. In so many ways it feels like it was yesterday- every detail permanently burned into my mind. And yet... my life is completely unrecognizable from what it was then. This account is mostly for Griffin because one day I'm sure he'll want to know where I was when the tragedy unfolded.

Ten years ago I got ready for work just like any other morning. At the time I was working in the call center at MBNA America Bank in Cleveland. I was 23 and it was my first real job after graduating from college. I left my little apartment where I lived alone and drove through normal rush hour traffic. Soon after I arrived, one of my co-workers came in and asked if we had heard about the plane that crashed into the the World Trade Center. She had heard it on the radio on her way in but said the details were fuzzy. I remember a few of us talking about how it must have been a small plane, an untrained pilot... a horrible accident. A few minutes later I heard my supervisor gasp and say "Oh, my god. We're under attack." The second tower had been hit. All of a sudden this was no accident. We were all sort of paralyzed. My Aunt Chris lives in New York City and my first thought was of her. I couldn't help crying- for her, for those on the plane, for the unknown. I ran downstairs to call my mom who was living in Columbus at the time. She hadn't heard from my aunt. She was also crying. I made the call quick and went back upstairs. We turned the radio on so that we could all hear what was happening. We were glued to the hazy reports, the  early theories- and yet we were still expected to perform business as usual. While most people stopped calling, mesmerized by their own tv sets across the country, there were a few people here and there who made it through the phone lines. I remember not being able to mask the emotion in my voice when a little old lady called asking for a lower interest rate. It was the last call I was able to handle.

Soon after, the pentagon was hit and there were reports of a plane circling Cleveland. Because we were a major financial institution, they decided we were a potential target and we were evacuated. This time, driving back to my apartment, no one was on the streets. I made it home and turned on the television just in time to see the first tower start to collapse and I collapsed myself. I spent the rest of the morning curled in a ball on my couch, bawling as I watched the same horrific images- images I wont even describe- over and over again. Because phone systems kept going down due to the overload of people trying to get information, I wasn't able to reach any of my friends or family members. It was a feeling of fear and emptiness that I am fortunate not to have felt since. As morning turned into afternoon, my doorbell rang. I went out to find my friend Laura standing there, her face also tear streaked. She said she couldn't take being alone anymore- or watching the news. So she asked me to get a beer with her and it sounded like the best idea I'd heard in a long time.

We expected the bar around the corner to be empty, but instead it was packed. Filled with people just like us- people who were terrified, sickened, saddened, yet needed some type of camaraderie. Conversation was quiet, stilted. People kept repeating the same things... half expecting not to be answered... as though they were talking to themselves. It was like we were all zombies. On that day our hearts, our passion, had been stolen from us. I wondered if life could ever be the same. If I would ever be able to bring children into such a horrific world.

I don't remember that night. I don't remember if I was able to go to sleep. Or if I had nightmares. I don't remember if I talked to my brother who was in college in Cleveland... I must have.

But the next day was different. My heart was still broken. I was still terrified of the potential threat- every emergency helicopter or plane I saw in the sky made me want to take cover. But somehow there was some kind of hope. My aunt was safe. The country had started to band together. There was a nationalism I had never seen before. There was no work so I walked my neighborhood. People all along my street hung signs and American flags out of their windows. Some burned candles to honor those we lost. I remember finding a paper flag on the street that I immediately hung in my apartment. It stayed there until I moved out a year later.

I don't know how, but life slowly returned to normal. I don't know that I can say it was ever the same, but somehow that horrible day stopped being the first thing I thought about when waking up in the morning. We returned to work. Planes started flying again. And while the feelings aren't nearly as intense, that original nationalism stayed with me. We hung an American flag from our new house last night and I thought about those that lost their lives, but those thoughts, while still aching and sad, were out of respect and not fear. And I thank God that I decided I could bring a child into this world. In a way, he has healed me from so much of the residual pain and angst I carried with me- not just from 9-11, but from life in general. He makes me understand the true value of life, the impossible depth of love. He makes my life more full than anything I could have ever imagined. And most importantly, he is part of a new generation. One that may be able to find peace.

100%

the double rainbow we saw from our front porch last week

We are now 100% moved in. That does not mean we are 100% unpacked, mind you. There is an entire room in our basement that I wont even speak of right now. That is a separate post entirely entitled "HOARDERS". BUT we have all of our belongings out of the old house and storage so we feel MUCH better. Now home is home and we wont ever have to go back and forth again! (Though back I'll definitely go since Becky moves in on Wednesday!)

So much more has happened recently. First and foremost, Griffin has FOUR new teeth making his grand total 6! His new smile is adorable, but he'll never hold still long enough to get a picture of them. Unfortunately, the new teeth also means a new curiosity in biting... things, people, whatever. I'm hoping that is short lived because OW.

Drew finished painting Griffin's room and it is GORGEOUS. I think it's my favorite room that we've ever done. And Griffin is just beyond thrilled to have his special curtains back!! This is currently the only space in the house that is completely done & comfortable.

the only pic I dont have is of his closet doors- painted in chalkboard paint! So cool!

Griffin has also learned a word! He says mom and mama CONSTANTLY. I'm not sure if he really understands that means me as much as he knows he gets a reaction and/ or what he wants. While he'll look at me with his arms outstretched and say "mama", he'll also look adoringly at his baby food and say "mama" or moan wistfully "moooommmm" when I put him down for a nap. Regardless, it's pretty cute (unless he's whining).

Griffin also spends MUCH more time with our cat, Louise, now that we're in a different house where she can co-exist with us! He LOVES her and is always trying to pet her. While he isnt very gentle, Louise still tolerates it so well and she seems to revel in the attention. Of course he still adores Scarlett too, in fact, she seems to be the only "person" that can still make him smile when he's throwing a tantrum!

Things are coming together slowly. I cant wait until everything is clean, put away, and we can just relax. Until then I'm just trying to enjoy the process!