something is still missing.

I've been thinking about my aunt a lot lately. I think many of those feelings are tied up in having Griffin around now. I keep wondering what her humorous advice would be on things, what her own stories about raising boys would have been, what she would have lovingly crafted him.

I talked to my uncle last week. He told me she would have already been out here. I know she would have, and it just makes it harder. I desperately wish Griffin could have known her. Drew says he does. I hope so.

And for some reason the spring coming hurts more too. Maybe it is Griffin's impending baptism causing Drew & I to think about who his godparents will be, since she and my uncle were mine. I'll definitely be making her famous jell-o salad for Easter, using the recipe she e-mailed me almost 6 years ago now where she addresses me as "old married lady". I imagine her vegetable gardens that would normally get started soon, the hostas that come up every year. And maybe the numbness from her passing is just finally wearing off.

At least I have this:

the day Aunt Diane found out I was pregnant