it's been awhile

I've neglected the blog for awhile while I let life happen. Between work and home, I had several incredibly busy weeks, but things are starting to slow down for me again. It has been raining here for days. There has been lots of dangerous flooding, mudslides & rock slides in the area, but we have been very lucky. For us, the clouds have been hanging so low that you cant even see the mountain tops anymore, and there is so much rain that South Table has formed a waterfall. While I love the gray, rainy weather (it happens so rarely here that it's a novelty), it makes me lethargic so life is even slower. Perfect time to write, I suppose.

In the meantime, life has indeed happened! Betsy came out for a visit a week ago and while we were all excited to see her, the kids had a ball. Griffin has been talking about going to Ohio ever since.

snuggle time with Grammy

We also went to "the beach" this weekend! It was blazing hot and sunny for days (funny now considering the current situation!) and we needed to get out of the house. Unfortuantely the water level at the lake was REALLY low, so it wasnt as pretty as usual, but both kids were in love with the water anyway!

We did some mall walking that weekend too. Anything to get out of the heat! Griffin got to go on lots of rides, including the carousel and train!

Griffin has continued to be hilarious. Whenever he is playing with something he's not supposed to be and I ask him to put it down, he says he's "just smelling it". So, my jewelry, Drew's phone, ball point pens, Evvie's teethers... he's smelling them all. He is still in love with the farmers market, as evidenced by his quiet play time with his action figures wherein he has them go to the farmers market to buy peaches & ride the horsey. He has also (unfortunately) become quite the parrot. He tends to repeat the last few words of any sentence we say, but the other day he came up to me and said "my Spider Man broke. That's fucking dumb." Soooo, I have Drew to thank for that one. He always said he had "plenty of time" to clean up his language- looks like the time is now!

Griffin has also been incredibly sweet and cute. The other day I was getting ready for work and he said "you look like a princess, mommy." Swoon!! And then a few nights ago when we had a big thunderstorm, Drew went in to make sure Griffin was ok. While he was being very brave about the whole matter, he was clearly glad to have Drew with him. The next morning we were talking about how loud it was and Griffin said "it was scary in my room. But daddy saved me!"

Evvie also has news of her own! She is growing up SO FAST and has been rolling over on her own, from back to tummy and vice versa. Pretty soon she'll be rolling around the room! She's also started eating solid food. We started on cereal, but she's already on veggies too! Her teacher said she ate an entire container of green beans today and LOVED it. That's my girl!

Completely unrelated, here are some old family photos my aunt just sent me. I think they are incredible and they make me so happy.

L-R Aunt Betty, Uncle Virgil, Grandpa & Grandma circa 1945

L-R mom's cousin Eric, Grandma, Aunt Betty & Great Grandma circa 1980

mom & Grandpa circa 1975

Because there is nothing else I should be doing.

Just kidding, there are about a billion other things I should be doing. Work is insane right now and I feel like I am behind in everything, which is exactly why I'm procrastinating. It's one of my talents.

In the middle of this craziness, Evvie had her 4 month check up. She is doing amazing and I cant believe how fast she's growing! She is in the 85th percentile for height (Amazon baby!), 50th for weight, and 80th for head circumference (yes, still a Clark). She is growing so well, yet demanding food so often that her Nurse Practitioner suggested we start her on rice cereal. We'll be doing that this weekend. Where did my baby go?? And most exciting- she has just recently started rolling over!! I just cant believe how fast all of this is happening.

I've been working a lot of extra hours this week because of trainings, orientation, and the launch of my class. That means Drew has been doing lots of single parenting! We're both incredibly exhausted, but he's doing an amazing job. I'm so lucky to have married a great dad.

Somehow I'm going to (try to) run another 5k on Saturday! Wish me luck!

Racing

My 5k was on Sunday and It. Was. Amazing. I went into it so nervous and insecure. And once I got there, all I could think about was how out of shape I am and how much I hate crowds. For a few minutes I told myself I had made a major mistake. And then the race started.

I'm not a seasoned runner. I haven't had enough time to train for speed. I wasn't in it for the competition. Instead, I was in it to show myself I COULD. To make my body do beautiful things. To keep a promise to myself. So after the whistle blew, those in it for the competition were gone and I was left in their dust. But those that were left motivated me in ways I could never have imagined. For 3.1 miles I was part of this moving, roiling mass. We carried each other. I ran with my friend, Letty, and she helped to pace me as well. We were in it together, so there was no giving up as long as she was moving forward. So mile after mile I was happy. I was exhilarated. In a bit of pain, yes, but I was LOVING EVERY SECOND. Halfway through I decided that I wanted to race and race and race and race. Never stop running.

about 2.5 miles in

My only goal was to run the entire thing without walking and 40 or so minutes later, I met that goal in front of my tiny family- the three people I love the most in this whole world. So it wasn't fast, it wasn't pretty, I didn't win any awards, but I was SO PROUD. And I can't wait to do it again.

just past the finish line!

Then yesterday, while still riding my endorphin high, I read a newsletter from the mommy group I belong to and my jaw hit the floor. A few of them are starting a pick-up adult field hockey team & were looking for players! Field hockey was BY FAR my favorite sport to play growing up and I've missed it ever since. I still have my trusty stick in our office and I look at it longingly every now and again- so for this to come up is SO EXCITING!!! I immediately signed up. All of the women are close to my age, working mothers, and just as rusty as I am. I start in two weeks! The grin has not left my face since. Yay for fun exercise!

Today was one year anniversary of my office being established! We had a little celebration and reflected on our accomplishments. I feel so lucky to work for an office I am proud of, with people I genuinely like and care about, in a position I adore. An entire year later and I actually WANT to go to work each day! I've never had that before. I've been given a gift.

And, completely unrelated, here is a dramatic reading of Green Eggs & Ham by Sir Griffin, himself.

Rockin' Braid

Griffin continues to be a great source of entertainment. Today he was playing with our old cordless phone that we gave him.

Griffin: Hellooooo! Hellooooo!
Me: Helloooo!
Griffin: (to the phone) Hold on. (to me) NO. *I* am talking to Grammy. No YOU talk to Grammy. MY Grammy. (to the phone) Hellllooooooooo!

It reminded me SO MUCH of Conversations with my Two Year Old:

I braided my hair today and as we were walking to the car Griffin says "what's that? Ponytail?" I said "no- it's a braid" to which Griffin replied "rockin' braid!"

And Griffin CONSTANTLY asks us what we're doing lately. He probably asks me 20 times a day, expecting a full blown play-by-play. If we dont give him enough detail, he asks over and OVER again. But whenever we ask him what HE is doing, he simply says "not doing". Well played.

good days

Things have been MUCH easier lately. We're more adjusted to our schedules which makes a big difference. Drew developed shingles a few weeks ago and I swear it was from the stress of those daily differences! But it has mostly cleared up now, and our hope is that he's back to 100% very soon.

We've entered our "monsoon season" along the Front Range so the weather has cooled off quite a bit and we're getting awesome rains each evening. My garden is going gangbusters and it's perfect sleeping weather!

Work has also gotten incredibly exciting! CASA is entering its second year and we've been given the time, money, and support to become the office of our dreams! We are hiring another Coordinator, so my advising load will be much lighter, allowing me to concentrate on my other duties. I am re-developing my course and submitting it to undergraduate council for approval. My goal is to increase the number of credit hours it is worth and with that creating more meaningful curriculum. I've also been developing training curriculum for all of my faculty. It's MUCH easier to leave your kids and go to work when you're excited about what you're doing every day!

And to top everything off, our back yard is really starting to look AMAZING. Our new shed is adorable AND functional, our lawn is starting to come in strong and green, we've slowly been making big dents in getting rid of the piles of mulch & rocks, and we got an incredible deal on a beautiful dining tent, so we've been eating dinner outside almost every night. It's such an amazing feeling to see Griffin running around like crazy back there- our vision and effort is paying off!

This weekend was an awesome one. Saturday was the start of Buffalo Bill Days, so we walked the kids down for pancakes at the firehouse and followed it up with the parade. We all had a BLAST, but especially Griffin! We're so thankful to have community traditions for the kids as they grow up! After naps & some relaxing at home, we went back down to eat fair food, let Griff run around the kiddie area & listen to the bands. I tried fried Twinkies for the first time! I always sneered at the deep-fried dessert thing a fairs, and it IS awful when you think about it, but oh. my. god. They did NOT disappoint (and I've actually never liked regular Twinkies!) I figure once a year wont kill us! :)

he partied too hard.

Sunday was gray and rainy all day (instead of only in the evening). It is so rare that we get days like that, we actually LOVED it. It was perfect for snuggling and relaxing at home, and getting some chores done. I was able to weed the garden without feeling like I was sizzling! I took advantage of the cool house by baking the BEST chocolate cake I have EVER had. Not the best I've ever *made*, but literally the best cake I've ever tasted!! Even Drew who is not the hugest chocolate cake fan said "damn! That's a good ass cake!" Our next door neighbors gave us a HUGE bag of vegetables to thank us for watering their garden while they were on vacation. The bag contained an enormous zucchini that I had no idea what to do with since Drew & Griffin wont touch the stuff. And the best part? This incredible cake had FOUR CUPS of zucchini in it that went completely undetected! All it did (beyond adding to the nutritional value) was make the cake amazingly moist and dense. Speaking of food, Griffin has proven that I can never just assume I know his tastes & that he will always keep me on my toes. Last night at dinner, he ate two helpings of whole wheat pasta topped with a super-veggie tomato sauce (full of peppers, squash, carrots & flax), THREE helpings of steamed carrots & broccoli (I actually had to make more!), and a big hunk of bread and cheese! This is the kid that some days refuses to eat anything beyond cheerios and fruit snacks. Just goes to show I'm doing the right thing by offering him what we eat every night!

Proof!

In other exciting news, Evvie slept in her own room for the first time last night! She woke up a bit more than normal, but she always went right back to sleep after nursing, so I think she'll be fine! Exciting step- but it made me sad. I was sad when Griffin transitioned out too. I miss my baby! This was super sweet though- Evvie was a bit crabby before bedtime last night, so Drew decided to calm her with music. I love their relationship.

My first 5k is less than a week away now! I'm nervous and excited! My only goal is to finish without walking. We shall see!

A Prayer for my Little Boy

... and my husband, and all men, really. But especially my little boy.

To My Boy who is Two and a Half

Dear Griffin (aka Handsome Dan, Buddy Brown, & Crazy Pants),

You are two and a half. Two and a freaking half. Where did the time go?

You are growing up so fast. It seems just like yesterday you were learning to walk, and now you run circles around all of us, climb anything you can find, and jump like your life depends on it. You LOVE physical play and a day does not go by without a round of hide and seek or a light saber battle. 

You have also become quite chatty- how could you not given who your parents are? Instead of one or two words we now get complete stories. I love driving you home from school because you always tell me about your day and you list all of your friends. You're also HILARIOUS! Just the other day you looked at your dad and said "run away, DREW." And you adore talking to your sister, you've even made up your own nickname for her- Little Feets! I'm not sure if something has ever struck me as so sweet and perfect ever in my life. Of course most of your banter is reserved for superhero discussions. I blame your father.

Speaking of Evvie, you are the BEST big brother any of us could ever ask for. You have surpassed even my greatest hopes. You watch out for her from the second you wake up in the morning until the time you go to sleep. When you're together, you hug her or pat her head. When you meet someone new, the first thing you do is introduce them to "your baby". And at school, your teachers hear all about how your sister is just a few doors away. But the best part is how when we're alone you tell me how you love her. You have such a giant heart. You make me so proud.

You are becoming more and more your own independent person. You need to do EVERYTHING yourself, whether it is closing the door, pushing a button, putting the lid on your cup, or putting your clothes away. Everything is YOUR job and there is hell to pay if we get to it first. I am all about speed, efficiency, and getting things out of the way, so it has been a struggle to remember that in these instances, slowing down and taking the effort to let you work on things on your own is good for both of us. Your independence has also led to a "no" phase which has been a challenge for all of us. You want to do what you want, when you want without any guidance. We hear "no" from you A LOT. Your dad and I are still new at this. We don't know how to deal with every situation, or make sure we are instilling all of the right values in you. We want you to be happy as often as possible, but we also need you to know that you can't always have your way. But I think we are all slowly learning. You know (because you have been told) that when we say "no", it is always for a good reason, and usually to keep you safe. And at the same time, your dad and I are learning to give you more choices and to embrace the root of the "no". 

But your sweetness and gentleness far outweighs the common difficulties in raising a toddler. The other day I banged my knee on the dresser and you ran over to kiss it! You still love to snuggle with us for story or movie time. You tell us you love us constantly, and when your dad leaves your work, you say "bye bye! Be careful!" You have such a strong desire to help, to show affection, and to make us happy. You actually ask sometimes to be sure. You'll say "are you happy, mommy?" And the answer is always "YES, sweet boy. You have made us happier than words can say."

Nothing I could ever write could sum up the incredible you. You are bright like the sun warming my days, shining light where there is darkness. I live in awe of who you are, and that somehow you came from us. I thank the universe that I get to be your mama.

Every day for two and a half years I have been telling you that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and it is still true today. 

love, mama