(V)egetarian

When I was in high school, my dad took us to the book store and let us pick out anything we wanted. I remember scanning the shelves, picking things up and putting them back down again, and then I settled on something fairly random- Animal Liberation. I had never stopped to think about what we eat or the treatment of animals, or anything like that before. I don't even know why I chose the book to begin with. But it opened my eyes in a profound, albeit naive, way and I stopped eating meat for nearly 4 years. It wasn't until someone offered me a bite of grilled steak in college that I started eating meat again. And then I just tried to shut my eyes and forget why I had been a non meat-eater to begin with.

Fast forward to 2007 when I read another book- Harvest for Hope. This book also opened my eyes to what we eat, but in different ways. It was then that I committed myself to purchasing local, organic, non-GMO, ethically and humanely raised and grown foods as much as possible. I never stopped- that is still something I feel truly passionate about, ESPECIALLY now that I have children.

So for the past 7 years, I have eaten meat, but it is generally purchased from farms I know and trust, where the animals are treated with respect. That means a lot to us, and has made us feel much better about our decision. But, the fact of the matter is, I just really don't enjoy meat. I am very weird about texture, and 90% of the time whatever meat I'm eating would gross me out, ending up in a waste. And I also know that meat eating, especially red meat, is not so healthy- no matter how well it is treated. So we cut back dramatically. I only incorporated meat into about 1/4 of our meals, and even then it was an add-in, not the main focus. It made me feel better, but I still wasn't satisfied.

The problem is, I actually have no problem with meat eaters. I would never pass judgement on someone for how they decide to feed themselves- especially since humans are legitimately omnivores. This means I actually want my kids to eat meat- they need the protein! And I would never try to convince my husband (with his limited palate as it is) to give up meat. So I felt like I was stuck. Since I'm the primary chef and I am feeding meat eaters, meat it is, right?

And then about a month ago I took a step back and looked at my life as a whole. I'm a happy person, but I also wasn't taking enough time for myself. It seemed like everything I did was for someone else- down to the way I was eating. One of my good friends is a vegetarian married to an omnivore, so it can be done! I made the leap. Many of our meals are exactly as they would have been, occasionally I need to cook a separate protein for the family- and that's ok. I am SO much happier with myself. I feel healthier and like I'm living up to my own standards and ideals.  I think it also helps that I'm not crazy, so I'm fine with picking meat off of things or occasionally ingesting something that had added chicken stock etc. instead of freaking out about the sanctity or purity of my food.

It's been over a month now and I think I can officially call myself a vegetarian again. I'm pretty proud of myself for making a change for ME.