precious cargo

This whole week has been a recovery of sorts. I made a whirlwind trip to Cleveland last weekend for my aunt's funeral. I'm glad I was there. I'm glad I got to hug my uncle & cousins. I'm glad I got to seek comfort in all of my extended family and close family friends. Her service was beautiful. I just wish that none of it had to happen in the first place.

The trip took a lot out of me. I flew out on Friday, back on Sunday and there was a lot of activity in between. I also caught a nasty cold (perhaps from the plane, but I suspect from my dad) that put me out of commission. So although I returned to work this week, I spent a lot of time in bed- recovering from my exhaustion, my cold, and my sadness.

But the whole time my aunt was sick, she made me think about the baby. She'd always say I couldn't worry about her too much. That the baby was the most important thing. She told me over and over again that I was carrying "precious cargo". I also know that she would want us all to go on living, and to enjoy every day. It's how she would live if she were still here.

So yesterday, my mom and I let go a little bit and spent the day together shopping for the baby. It was an incredible day that I think we both desperately needed. We picked out amazing fabrics for curtains my mom is going to make for the nursery. I cant really describe it and do it any justice- I wish I took pictures. We'll just have to wait for the final product and I'll post pictures then. But the process of picking out the perfect colors and textures, imagining how they would look in a room that hasn't even begun to take shape yet, and knowing that these will be one-of-a-kind pieces lovingly made by my son's grandmother was incredibly fun. We also had lunch together and then went to a craft store where we got the supplies necessary to make the mobile that will hang over Griffin's crib. This project we are doing together over the next few weeks and will make the mobile even more meaningful.

There were times during the day that we both were a bit overcome by emotion. We'd tell stories and get a bit choked up. But there were even more times that we laughed, bonded, and got excited about the new life that is coming. Between the fun and the prospect of crafting, I know that Aunt Diane was beaming from wherever she was.