a lot all at once

While we do what we can to focus on the positive, the past month or so has been a very emotional time for us to say the least. This has meant both ups and downs, but last week was another difficult one for us. It started early in the week when I became incredibly ill with a stomach flu. As miserable as I was, I was more concerned about Griffin and whether the illness, strain, and dehydration would affect him. I was in constant contact with our clinic and at one point, the doctor thought I might have to come in for an IV and fetal monitoring. Luckily, I turned a corner just in time to avoid that. I think I am still recovering.

The week got much worse as on Tuesday we had to put our dog, Gabe, to sleep. He was a much loved friend and companion. Unfortunately, he had been diagnosed with cancer in his jaw and he never really seemed to fully recover and return to normal. While it was a very painful decision, I do believe that is was the very best thing for our family, and ultimately, for Gabe. He will be missed.

That same day, our cat, Louise came home from the hospital. We are now feeding her through a tube three times a day. The hope is that after a month, her liver will have regained function and she will be able to eat on her own. She seems to be responding well to the treatment so far. Our fingers are crossed.

Then, last Thursday, we were finally able to experience the first true joy in what seems like a long time. We had another ultrasound and were able to look at our little boy for what will likely be the last time before he is born! He is beautiful and healthy. The tech said that they estimated his weight at 1 lb. 10 oz. I cant believe how big he has gotten already! I know he has a long way to go, but he's no tadpole anymore! She said his overall size is in the 45th percentile right now which is normal. His heart looked perfect and he is exactly on mark for his gestational age which, at the time was 25 weeks and 2 days. Now let's see if he actually shows up on his due date! We then met with one of their midwives. Our initial visit was with a midwife and then, for some reason, they rotated us only through doctors. After a few negative experiences, I decided that I felt more comfortable with having a midwife and I really liked the one we spoke with this time. She was very attentive and calming, answered all of my questions, and never once seemed rushed or put out. She also let us know that I could come off the pelvic rest and resume all normal activities. HOORAY! My next several visits will be rotated through their midwives so that I can decide which one clicks with us the most and will be called for the delivery. I'm REALLY excited about this process. I finally feel like I am in control and making the best and most informed decision for my health and that of my baby, rather than doing what I am told or expected to do.

We noticed after a few days of Gabe being gone that our other dog, Scarlett seemed especially distant and depressed. We decided it would be the best thing for all of us to get outside and breathe some fresh air. We went for a hike in Boulder Canyon- one of my favorite places on earth. Drew and Scarlett went wading in the creek and then we all walked a 1/2 mile or so up the trail before coming back down again. Scarlett was incredibly well behaved and I think we all needed the peace and beauty of the hike.This week we are back to the grind and trying to take life one step at a time. Our experiences over the past month or so have left us drained but we have faith that things will only get better from here on out. Here is me at 26 weeks: I am exhausted, although I think that is due in a large part to getting over the flu and dealing with stress. Sleep has become elusive at times, however, due to heartburn and the fact that it's hard to get comfortable anymore. I've gotten to be just the size where its harder to bend over or put on pants. There are times where that is annoying, but then I look down and see a squirm or I feel him kick and it all feels SO worth it.