Rollercoaster

If there is one thing I've learned as a parent, it's that life becomes a SERIOUS series of ups and downs. Sure, that can be true for anyone in general, but I never knew the high highs and low lows I've experienced until Griffin was born. And I think it's because all of a sudden, things matter so much more.

So, as per usual, we've been riding the tide lately and have had some amazing days, and some not so great ones. Sunday, for example, was AWESOME. It was nearly 70 degrees, so we got ice cream from the local candy shop and hung out at the park. Griffin fell in love with this HUMONGOUS slide that gave me a heart attack every time I saw his little body fly down it, but he had the time of his life. Seeing his face light up as he screams "wheeee"? Now that is a high high! And later that afternoon, I spent quality time in the kitchen making more freezer meals (this time: chicken curry, jambalaya, spring risotto, chicken & sweet potatoes, and cheesy ham & potatoes) I think I have almost a month's worth of dinners stocked up! Then that night we hung the curtains my mom made and they look absolutely perfect:

the main fabric is gray & white polka dot which matches her  crib sheets!

But then Monday morning I noticed that Griffin woke up with a fever. It didn't seem to bother him much, and luckily Drew had the day off anyway. But the fever didn't go away, and when he wasn't on Motrin he was lethargic and not himself- so I stayed home with him today. I was hoping the fever would just break and that would be that, but this afternoon he started in with his infamous cough and so now I'm freaking out.

Griffin has gotten this cough & labored breathing thing probably 7 or 8 times since he's been born, so I should be a seasoned pro. I know he'll look and sound pathetic, but be fine in the long run. I know that calls and visits to the doctor don't help and we just need to be diligent with the suctioning & humidifier and wait it out. But I always have those two hospital stays in the back of my mind, and I panic. Every time I hear him cough I try to remember what the game changer was when he had RSV or when he had the flu and he had to be put on oxygen. Those were the worst days of my life- my low lows- so I really struggle every time I think it could potentially happen again.

It doesn't help that Drew has mandatory training tomorrow and I have a ton of advising appointments followed by the class I teach, so neither of us can stay home. My parents both work, so we don't really have back up. All I can do is cross my fingers and PRAY that he wakes up better. Yet another strike against working parents. I never knew before having kids just how hard our society makes it to support and protect them!

At least I had an OB appointment today and got to listen to Evvie's heartbeat and she is big, strong & healthy. The doctor reminded me that at this point, she could really come at any time so to be prepared! After I got home, Griff and I had a chat about being a big brother. He told me he would be very gentle with Evvie and he patted my stomach. He's the perfect combination of smart and sweet- he'll be the best big brother ever. And that is a high high if I've ever felt one.